No. 4 – #STRUT

STRUT RIGHT THROUGH YOUR LIMITING BELIEFS AND STRAIGHT INTO YOUR POWER

WOW! After an afternoon with Madam Storm I left feeling like the most powerful woman in the world. You see, attending a Madam Storm STRUT masterclass will be like nothing you’ve attended before. BELIEVE ME! Her Energy is like no other and her ability to be able to read a room full of woman is incredible.

Her Strut Masterclass is a journey in itself which is so deeply personal to every attendee. Everyone has shown up because of some blockage they’re having with their own confidence and Strut offers a safe environment where you can be vulnerable enough to share your story and release the battles, but powerful enough to not let them define who you are.

I remember the first time I saw this gorgeous, tall goddess and from that moment I was in awe. Madam Storm has such a presence, that you can’t help but feel loved and good about yourself. She radiates from the inside out and the outside is damn incredible too. Madam Storm is a genuinely, really cool, down to earth woman, with a big heart who wants every woman on this planet to live their sexiest, best life.

In the room there was refreshments set up with some strawberries, prosecco and some cakes. The class started with everyone in a circle, introducing themselves and sharing why you’ve come along to the workshop. Naturally everyone at this time is very timid and lacking confidence. Some attendees looking to the floor the whole time and others sharing that they don’t even own a mirror.
The workshop unfolds in a natural, empowering way as you get down to business learning Madam Storms 6 signature Struts. Everyone walks in lines together towards the mirrors, Madam Storm empowers you to watch yourself, stroke your body and allow yourself to feel every gorgeous inch of YOU! You are invited to celebrate yourself, be proud of what your body has done for you and learn how to ‘own your space’ and by the way, you are celebrated to take up as much space as you like!

What is magical to see, is the progress of the ladies that attend the class. The woman who were initially too shy to look up during the introduction, were now in front of a mirror, celebrating who they are and learning how to love themselves inch by inch. It’s a very powerful experience to be apart of.

For me personally, attending the Strut Masterclass, was the nudge I was missing. I suppose I had come a long way with my confidence in the months prior to the class, which is why I personally felt confident enough to buy a ticket, attend, and to even feel confident talking about my story. I had gone to some workshops about body confidence before too. What I found was that inside these safe spaces of workshops and dance classes I had attended, I was confident, free of judgement and felt quite powerful. However as soon as I was to exit that room, I always felt like that weight of self-doubt and limiting beliefs came back on my shoulders. Strut pretty much eradicated that fear and judgement for me. For me personally, attending the Strut Masterclass, was the nudge I was missing. I suppose I had come a long way with my confidence in the months prior to the class, which is why I personally felt confident enough to buy a ticket, attend, and to even feel confident talking about my story. I had gone to some workshops about body confidence before too. What I found was that inside these safe spaces of workshops and dance classes I had attended, I was confident, free of judgement and felt quite powerful. However as soon as I was to exit that room, I always felt like that weight of self-doubt and limiting beliefs came back on my shoulders. Strut pretty much eradicated that fear and judgement for me.

After attending a Strut Masterclass my mindset about who I am, my relationship and mindset towards my body and my outlook on life changed. That’s a pretty powerful trio. Madam Storms 3 hour Strut Class changed me in a way where I woke up that morning one woman, and went to sleep that night another woman.

If you’re nervous, on edge, umming and arring about whether to sign up because you are having some form of limiting belief. I urge you to simply buy a ticket. This is a small investment with a huge impact and all going towards your own personal development and growth

Now I you want to know the Struts, but you’ll just have to attend the next class, because I am now a qualified Strutter, and you will definitely want to be!!

https://www.teachmestorm.co.uk/
https://www.instagram.com/madamstorm/

Love
Hannah x

No. 3 – Mindset

A little while ago as you will have read below, I made the decision to take control and create the life I wanted, rather than allowing my life to fall behind me with no real sense of purpose or pride. The road to where I am now was a bumpy one and no doubt the road ahead will be just as bumpy, but life is all about the journey, and taking the first step, over and over again.
Whilst meditating last night, I came to a realisation as to why I allow myself to fall into a mindset of Self-doubt. When I’m in this mindset, I always tend to focus on reasons as to why I am not worthy, and as to why I am not capable, which if you aren’t aware by now, can be really detrimental to your personal success and growth.

Mindset, is one of the most powerful tools you have control of in your life. It’s always something that, if in the correct mindset, no one can own it, other than you. You are in control of your own thoughts, thoughts create actions, and actions create reality!

So literally, control your thoughts to create your life.

I came to learn and understand about my own cycle last night. I had just returned from a job interview for the perfect job. It was round 2 of interviews, I was meeting with the CEO and the CFO of the company and this job could really change my life. It’s the job I want and It’s the job I’d be perfect for. They ended the interview with “we’ll be in touch at the end of next week after we’ve completed the interviews’. It was then that it hit me, I literally felt the shift in my gut and my state was no longer ‘I am capable, I am confident and I got this’ (My mantra for interviews) but instead it was “They’re gunna be more experienced than me, I won’t get the job, someone else will be better”.
I hadn’t managed my expectations with regards to other interview candidates. Just because I can’t see and don’t know the other candidates doesn’t mean to say that there aren’t any. I started to think about who they might be, how their experience could be much better than mine and just generally comparing myself in a negative light. Rather than focusing on how I am able and capable for the position, I was focusing on how the other candidates are more able for the job than I am.

I hope you are able to see how detrimental that can be to someone’s self-worth and their own understanding in their ability to complete any task at hand. Not just a job interview.

I walked out the interview, pleased with my performance, but a huge grey cloud shading it, which had all my negative thoughts in, which were louder than actually thinking in the present of how the interview really went. Which, was good!

Quite in my head about this for the rest of the day, I decided to understand the cycle that keeps coming up in my life. I’ll call it, “The self-doubt cycle”.

Step 1) Having Self-doubt – Negative thoughts that harm your ability to any given situation.

Step 2) Realisation of Worth – After every episode of negativity towards myself, I make a conscious decision to release it. To give it up and start to think again how I am able, how I am capable and how I am confident. I do this personally through meditation and more recently through writing. (Game changer for me). It’s not easy to release it, as I mentioned it is a conscious decision. Literally battling with my two minds and arguing each point. “They’re gunna be more experienced than me” – “But you have done this this and this that makes you perfect for the job”.

Step 3) Euphoria – This is when you’ve released the negative energy from your body and mind. Just happy with what is, Happy with now, Happy with who you are and your own ability to do whatever that might be. Proud of what you’ve done, proud of what you will achieve and back in the positive mindset of “I am capable, I am confident, I got this”.

Step 4) Visualisation of New Life – Whilst you’re in the stages of step 3, euphoria, it’s very easy to start visualising yourself at the other side of whatever task it is you are carrying out. For me, I was visualising myself working for this company, walking into the workplace, what I’d be wearing and generally who I would be! This for me is the most important part of my cycle, because after I start to visualise it, my expectations start to go through the roof. I’m not managing my expectations of the now. My expectations are in the future of a scenario that hasn’t unfolded yet.

Step 5) Reality – So step 5, is the coming back to reality moment. In this scenario it was them saying “we’ll be in touch at the end of next week after we’ve competed the interviews”. I hadn’t managed my expectations for other interview candidates, silly I know, but I was so stuck in my visualisation of me being in the job role, that I didn’t think about the present moment and the reality of now.

Hannah Apperley

Mindset is a very powerful thing, it’s a difficult part of the journey to crack. I’m still on my journey, learning everyday about my mind, the impacts of mindset and how it can change your state which literally changes your reality.

I hope now, if you hadn’t thought about how impactful mindset can be and how it can take control of your life, you have a little more understanding towards it. I hope you can start to think of ways in which you might have negative thoughts and limiting beliefs and start to argue those points at hand.

For me, I wanna say thank you for reading, this is my form of release and now, ending this blog post, I’m feeling super confident again towards the interview. (Stage 2). I will now battle through my cycle and manage my expectations better to change my reality and knock that self-doubt out the cycle, because the cycle of self-worth is much more of an inviting prospect.

Hannah Apperley

Love, Hannah x

No. 2

So, I thought I would give you a little bit more about me. When I say a little, I’m kind of anticipating this to be quite long. I was just making a cup of tea, and was thinking of how I will start this post. I’ve decided to start it in the present moment, because there really is nothing quite like the present.

This is me…..

In this present moment, I’m sat at my kitchen table, having just been applying for jobs. Jobs in the fitness industry. I’m passionate about living my best life and about all that life has to offer. I’m passionate about being active, and ensuring my health is in check and I’m passionate about ensuring other people are set up for success to ensure they can too, live their best life. I wasn’t always this positive though, so here’s a little about my most recent journey, and how I got to where I am today.

Lets rewind, Its 5th December 2016 and I have just moved to London for work. Day 1, at the ‘not open yet’ Four Seasons Hotel London at Ten Trinity Square as the Assistant Banquet Manager. I am super motivated and ready for this new chapter in my career and life. See, for me, I got into the Luxury Hospitality Industry with the prospect for travel, so moving 40 miles to London was a significant period in my life, as it was the first step of detachment from ‘home’ and the first step into creating the life I want! I remember walking over from Tower Gateway DLR to the hotel, it’s a sunny, crisp December morning, and seeing Tower Bridge, Tower of London and the Shard, and just feeling so blessed and excited.

Fast forward a few weeks, we’ve had a great introduction to the new hotel, been given lots of great information about the history of the building and the department has started to take shape. Cutlery, plates, glasses and event equipment have started to be received and being a one man band, I’ve managed to rally enough help to carry this equipment from the basement, 5 floors up to Level 2, the event space!

I was always quite good a keeping face, I’m a Taurus, and we don’t like to wear our emotions, we keep it very private. Honestly, I struggled hard in the first few weeks, even months, there were times when I just couldn’t keep my emotions controlled; I remember the time I was crying, because I was on my own (I didn’t have a team at this point) in the Banquet Kitchen and a trolley load of buffet tables fell on top of me. Times where I had to do extensive set ups by myself, or where I would go to the Events Team and just cry because I’ve asked for help and been told to find the answers for myself. I felt like everyone was against me and no one wanted it to be as successful as I did. Which was very far from the truth by the way. Yes, the pre-opening of this hotel, was an eye-opening, inspiring learning curve for me. It allowed me to grow so much as a manager, and as a person and actually, the more of a challenge it was, the more excited I was to absolutely smash it.


I was proud, no way was I going to be seen to fail!

It wasn’t an easy ride, there was a lot of tears, but also amazing highs. There’s nothing quite like a pre-opening team, where you see and meet everyone for being them self, rather than knowing them as a colleague. No one is there for guests during, it’s all about being there for each other and for our shared common goal; Luxury Hospitality & delivering excellent experiences for our guests who would soon be coming through the doors. It’s honestly an amazing time and project to be apart of and if you ever get the opportunity to work for a ‘start up’ or a ‘pre-opening’, grab it with both hands. I promise you, it’ll be one of the most rewarding things you’ve done in your career.

A couple of months pass and we are open. The hotel is open. Events are getting booked in, and the team is growing. The department that took sweat, blood and tears to set up, is a very successful operations department & taking events to the next level.

HOORAY!

We were financially the strongest department within the division and also held the strongest guest experience score within the division, but also even the hotel (I think, for a couple months at least!)

Taking a few moments to reflect now, makes me so proud of all that we achieved as a team, and all that I personally achieved with this challenge.

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Engineering Team Say What 💁🏻🔧

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Time to fast forward again, 1 year down the line, work is great and more importantly work life balance was good. See, before I worked in London I was working in Hampshire for Four Seasons, and the Banquet department there was something else! Long-ass days (my longest shift was 23 hours!), short-ass sleep (shortest sleep between shifts was 3 hours!), and a lot of make up to hide the bags under my eyes. So as you can imagine it was very new to me, working in events, in a hotel, and having weekends off, and evenings or mornings off, shifts maximum 12 hours (for the most part) and actually decent sleep in between. YES PLEASE I was NOT complaining! On the reg we’d go to the pub after our shift, chat about the shift, about the frustrations of work and let our hair down.

There was some part of my life that was just not adding up, something was ‘off’, something was missing, if you feel me? Which ultimately, now I know was my life outside of work. It took me a little while to get to that realisation, I couldn’t understand why I was feeling ‘some way’ when I’d get home and spend time with myself. You see I had great friends in work, and we’d go to the pub for drinks, but as soon as I got home, I felt very lonely. I felt I didn’t have many friends who I could talk to and text or pick up the phone too. I felt that everyone already had their own life, their own agenda’s and their own weekend plans and there wasn’t really any room for me. So you could say I was living a split life, in work all great, bubbly, loving life, certainly seemed and felt like I had lots of friends/colleagues, but outside of work, quite the opposite. I’d usually spend weekends alone, wondering around London’s markets, or watching series upon series on Netflix. It was definitely a struggle to fit into the fast-paced busy life of London for the first year or so, and I was very open about how ‘London just wasn’t for me’.


I was longing for community, and to be around people, and to feel like I had an agenda, like it seemed everyone else in London did!

I’d always been quite a yoyo dieter, my weight always went up and down. I’d join and gym or start running then fall off the bandwagon pretty quickly. I was just craving to be around people in my spare time! Even If I wasn’t even communicating with them, just to be around other humans. By this point too it’s probably worth me mentioning that I had exhausted the London Markets, and there was only so many times I could walk through Brick Lane and Spitalfields on my own on a Sunday, So I joined a gym, September 1st 2017.

I know what I’m like and without anyone holding me accountable I wasn’t going to go & like a lot of people, I didn’t really know what I was doing. I was embarrassed to sweat, I was embarrassed to look stupid and I was even embarrassed to do certain moves in case my jiggly belly was on show. I concluded; the best option for me was to get a Personal Trainer. This by the way was the best investment in my life that I have ever made. If investing £350 per month for a PT, PLUS a gym membership wasn’t enough of a drive to get my ass in the gym, then ultimately, I’d be doomed at it would’ve been my destiny to stay on the path that I was currently living (And I really believe that).

I remember the first meeting with my PT, Rory. We sat and discussed my current fitness/ activity level, my barriers, my goals. I remember feeling so vulnerable and scared. I told him I wanted to work on my arms, legs and stomach which was all ‘common areas’ that everyone says. He said that was fine, then looked at me and said, in so many words ‘yeah, I think we’ll throw some back in there too’… Thanks hun!

WHAT WAS WRONG WITH MY BACK!
My mind was like “Have I been walking around with something wrong with a part of my body that I CAN’T SEE and EVERYONE ELSE can!”

But no, at the time I didn’t even know the back was an area that you would work out, I didn’t even know you could work it out – hence why I (and you maybe) needed a PT….

After our little consultation we did a 30 min ‘taster’ workout for me to gauge if I now wanted to use this PT after he’d verbally abused me. Joking, actually more for him to see my fitness levels. I remember sweating so much, literally dripping from my nose, something I had never experienced before, and Rory saying “You see, look how much you’re sweating”. Which was mortifying, as one of the reasons I was anxious about going to the gym was because I was embarrassed I’d sweat so much! So yea, thanks hun… again!
I just figured, If I looked like a twat, he was making me do it, so just blame him, don’t laugh at me.

That’s how my fitness journey started.
I made sure someone was holding me accountable, and that I could blame them when I thought I looked stupid in the gym or when I sweated a lot!

The photo on the left was taken at a 5k Charity Run, for work! (of course, because work was my social life) and it was October 2017, so around 1 month after I joined the gym. I remember feeling really positive about the run, and I’d been training in the gym for a few weeks and was already feeling like my energy levels had increased and was already just feeling happier with life. So naturally, as a competitive Taurus, I was ready to smash it.
I actually ended up getting my worst time yet and feeling embarrassed by how much I had sweat, I regretted putting the grey top on because it showed up sweat patches a lot. I was embarrassed at how much I had to walk and I had done it in my worst time ever.

Then…..I saw this photo of me…..Imagine!


It’s definitely true what they say, once you start getting to the gym, and feeling the benefits, it’s addictive. Plus I was in a safe environment where I was actually allowedto be vulnerable. I got to spend 2 hours a week with someone, who was very pleasant for the eye 😉 and who’s path I wouldn’t have crossed otherwise. It was so refreshing for me, to be able to talk to someone about something other than work!

So, as you can probably guess what happened next. I was loosing weight! I couldn’t believe it, my confidence was growing. I was loosing inches, I was starting to feel good and enjoy London and starting to enjoy my time off work, because then, I could go to the gym!
On the right, was my first ‘transformation’ picture on 17th November 2017, there was exactly 50 days between the photo at the Charity Run. I was wearing my new sports bra and leggings having just been out to buy them and my pink top is flung on my bed because I felt good enough to take a photo, like all the ‘insta fit girls’ I was following.

Every spare moment I was in the gym, I was following new inspiring people who motivated me to be better, I was coming up with my own workouts and training with Rory was so much more fun when I wasn’t caring who was watching and how much I was sweating. Funny that!

I think its important to mention, that I still had a lot of anxiety about going to the gym & walking into a gym. Lots of thoughts and limiting beliefs in my head but I learnt quite early on, that the gym is a safe space. A place where I can focus on my mental and physical strength with discipline to constantly and consistently be wanting to do better and be better.

I was competitive, and now in competition with myself. It was great!

I was always under the illusion, having fluctuated with my weight for a long time, that weightloss and being ‘skinny’ was the be all and end all route to happiness. So when I was looking in the mirror and seeing these amazing changes, yes it gave me many moments of euphoria, but I soon realised that I was still, not happy, something was still not okay! Confiding in Rory, we started to chat about this during our workouts, and that’s when I was introduced to the power and importance of mental health.

I learnt how to be nice, to myself.

I learnt that If I wasn’t accepting and happy with who I am, how can I ever expect the validation and acceptance of others, My life changed in that instance, I understood now as to why I struggled to make friends and struggled to keep friends.

I needed to be my own best friend first.

So that’s when the real journey began. The day I learnt how to talk to myself positively. How to love myself and how to love who I am, stretch marks, spots, flaws and all.

I took these above photos, on September 1st 2017, the day I joined the gym and other than a few friends, no one has seen these photos, not even family, but I am choosing to put them out there now because I love who I am and I love the journey I have been on.

So here I am, on 10th March 2019, unemployed, having left my career with Four Seasons, to start my journey to become a Wellness Coach, and help people live their best life possible. Because, everyone deserves to and has the right to live their own personal best life and I wanna make that possible for as many people as possible.

Unemployed, you’re saying! Left your job? Well yes. As much as Four Seasons was an integral part of my life and my journey, I was unable to, with my new awareness of mental health and positivity, marry my life outside of work, with my life in work. I was living still as two separate beings, and it was too damaging mentally, pretending to be someone I wasn’t. It wasn’t an easy decision to leave my job, but I have been out of my job for 2 weeks so far, and even though I am unemployed and do not have a job yet, I am so positive and have such a good feeling about whats coming next!

If there’s anything you take from reading this, please don’t let it be, “joining the gym will solve my problems”, or “loosing weight is the answer”. This is my own personal journey, one that is incomparable. Purely because everyone is an individual, unique and no two people are the same. This post is merely a celebration of my journey, a celebration of my life and a celebration of finally finding my true passion, one that I hope will and can inspire others.
We all have choices we make each day on how to live our own lives, so take from this post to live your best life and to give up all those limiting beliefs and negative thoughts that are holding you back.

You’re on your own journey, even if you don’t realise it yet. That will take you where it needs to take you. Just have trust in the timing of you life.

Watch this space, cause my life has only just begun!
CHEERS TO THAT & CHEERS TO YOU!

Love, Hannah x

No.1

So, here I am, on a cold evening in March, writing my first ever blog entry. This last week I had about 4 different people ask if I had a blog, so now I do. People must, just think I have too much to say, or perhaps think, that what I have to say, should be heard by a wider audience. Either way, I’m here!
Now, If you’d have asked me to write a blog entry 5 years ago, it would have probably been all about cocktails and wine, and the best restaurants and luxury hotels, because, well, that was my life. It still is my life to a certain extent, just now, I am looking at it through a much wider lens.

Hello, everyone? Do I put everyone, is anyone even out there reading this or am I just writing everyone because I think it’s an appropriate opening for my bio? Anyway, I’m Hannah, 24, living in a house share with 5 others, in London’s greatest borough….. Stepney. I know…I can sense your enthusiasm through my screen.
I work in a Luxury Hotel, where I manage the Banquet Department, I am in an amazing relationship, I am the middle child with two sibling brothers, I have a mum, I have a dad, I also have a step dad, and yeah, I’m pretty much your average 24 year old!
I have a passion for life, for living, and for living my best life. I love to Dance, go to the gym, throw around heavy weights, read and watch mind blowing videos. I love listening to music, cooking, the art of coffee and, I’m able to say life is awesome. What makes it awesome?

I Do!